


feel like a fool

by larvitar



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, One-Sided Attraction, Songfic, Yes I Am Sad Why Do You Ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17223617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larvitar/pseuds/larvitar
Summary: Heather knows she's being irrational, but hey, the girl of her dreams just broke her heart, so she thinks she's allowed.☆★☆chansaw , one-sided , songfic , I Am Big Sad





	feel like a fool

**Author's Note:**

> based on " feel like a fool " by kali uchis : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1yLqa63bK0  
> read it & weep boys

Heather's descent into hell starts with a brief message from her dad on a Sunday morning. It reads:

"Heather-

Please get some groceries today. We need eggs and flour. You're free to get anything else, just don't max my credit card. You know where it is.

Mr. C"

Her dad's messages always seem like a business transaction, and it's fitting. Heather might as well be another one of his business partners, rather than his own offspring. Heather replies with a quick "sure dad" before snagging the keys to her Porsche, as well as her dad's credit card (hidden under the fruit basket, like always. Heather thinks it's a shitty hiding spot, but she doesn't say anything.)

It doesn't take long for Heather to reach the grocery store. She's wearing her favorite sweater, an ugly ass one she got from Veronica a few months ago. It smells like lavender and vanilla, and it's probably the comfiest thing she owns. Granted, she'd never wear it if she was going anywhere important, but it's a trip to the grocery store. Yes, she looks like absolute horse shit, but there's not going to be anyone she knows here, surely. It's a Sunday morning, for fuck's sake. No self-respecting teenager would willingly do that to themselves, and Heather has to do it against her will.

She decides as a reward for getting up and out, that corn nuts and some disgustingly sugary beverage were in order. She quickly goes through the self-checkout with her dad's grocery requests and heads to the local Snappy Snack Shack.

It doesn't take long to get there, and besides, she's been there hundreds of times. It's almost a safe haven sometimes from her tiring, terrible life that might as well be her 9-5 job, except it’s 24/7. She constantly has to work to keep people in place, to keep her image, to keep her status. The Snappy Snack Shack is the only place all of that doesn't matter, and she can cry in the front seat of her Porsche in the parking lot about how she can never truly open up to anyone, while idly throwing corn nuts in her mouth. It's a great feeling to get everything out every so often.

She parks her car and enters the Snappy Snack Shack, the little bell above the door ringing as she advances to one of the fridges to select her Monster of choice (today it was Pipeline Punch). She's on her way to get her corn nuts until she sees-

Veronica.

And tall brooding freak boy.

Together.

Heather sees them from afar and tries to grab her corn nuts and make a break for it and make a break for it she does.

They were laughing together with slushies. Veronica had the biggest smile on her face since Fleming canceled the paper on morality three weeks ago and it gives Heather the urge to purge. Heather doesn't throw up, unfortunately, taking a breather before running to her car to hide in it and find out if Mac knows anything.

_mythic b: do weirdo boy and veronica have a thing ???_

She sighs, shakes her head, and puts her phone away, sighing loudly before depressingly throwing her head and mess of blonde curls on the wheel. God, what a life she lived.

She gets home as fast as she possibly can and after putting her shit away, she flops on her bed. Then, Mac texts her back.

_mac: Who, Dennis or J.D.?_

Heather smiles a little at that. There's nothing more she enjoys more than insulting shitty dudes, she thinks to herself before texting Mac back.

_mythic b: haha no , pretty sure dennis is still obsessed with me anyway_

_mythic b: but no i meant JD , i saw him and v in the snappy snack shack today for some ungodly reason and i don't want to assume the worst_

Heather sees Mac's little chat bubbles pop up and then disappear until finally, a message comes.

_mac: Sorry to say it bud, I'm 90% sure they are :^(((_

Heather responds quickly, almost typing furiously.

_mythic b: fym " 90% sure "_

_mac: Like, I've seen them together a lot more recently. And remember when Veronica flaked on us for a "family vacay" last Friday?_

_mythic b: don't tell me she ditched us for JD_

_mac: She did :^///_

_mac: She was all over his Snap story, they were at Veronica's house playing croquet and shit_

_mythic b: that explains why she turned her location off_

_mythic b: wait why do you have JD on snap_

_mac: Gotta keep your enemies close girl_

_mac: Yeah I'm sorry though, almost positive they're dating_

_mythic b: fuck_

_mac: What?_

Heather leaves Mac on read before letting herself absolutely crumble. Sure, being closeted as the queen bee of high school is hard enough, but even harder is knowing the girl you love so dearly is dating some hobgoblin with no sense of hygiene. Heather actually does throw up this time, dashing to the bathroom and flinging up the porcelain lid of her toilet, holding her hair back with one hand and gripping the edge of her counter with another as she blew chunks. She'd gotten accustomed to the feeling of having infatuations that never went anywhere, but it stills hurts like hell. Especially because she thought Veronica at least would have some sort of taste, at least. She figured Veronica was going to date some mediocre loser who was at least trustworthy, but no. Veronica just has to fuck the system up.

The vomit tastes like acid in her mouth, and Heather wishes it would kill her.

☆★☆

The vomit doesn't kill her, unfortunately. It's more as if the vomit she swallows every day seeing Veronica and J.D. together gathers in a pit in her stomach, making her gut feel like it's burning constantly. Heather doesn't know if it's all in her head anymore.

Veronica introduces J.D. to the Heathers soon enough.

"Girls, this is J.D.. We started dating semi-recently, and I figured you all should meet him. He's a good guy, I promise." Veronica says, chuckling.

"Only on select days," J.D. quips, making Veronica laugh genuinely. It almost eases the bile in Heather's throat.

The Heathers introduce themselves, and after Heather introduces herself as briefly as possible, J.D. starts a conversation about Duke's novel of the week. Heather stares off into space, until Veronica can pull her out of her trance.

"Heather?" Heather Chandler turns to her, the two other Heathers still encapsulated in J.D.'s conversation.

"What?" she snaps, sounding more bitchy than usual. Whatever. Bitchier is better. It tells people they should leave and never come back, which most of them do.

Veronica's features grow soft and Heather thinks this girl is  _trying_ to murder her. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I haven't seen that much of you recently, and you've barely been talking."

"So?" Heather spits, snarling a little bit.

"I'm just worried for you, and-" Veronica sighs, shaking her head. "Nevermind."

"That's what I thought, Veronica." Heather feels Veronica's eyes on her for a split second before she turns back to the group.

Heather could care less.

☆★☆

**Author's Note:**

> missed you guys !!!!!!!!!!!!! larvitar is Back In Business Babey . hope y'all enjoy !!!!!!!!  
> ☆★☆  
> torture me on tumblr krookodyke.tumblr.com


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